The obsession with Taylor Swift ranks right there in the top ten things that I will never understand. (Kim Kardashian is also on that list.) I mean, I get liking famous people. They are, well, famous.
But Taylor Swift is in another category altogether, made possible by the Taylor Swift Teeny Bopper Club. The members consist of all those young women who are screaming in adoration and exultation (see above). And, the Club membership seems to be ever expanding. It’s a cult thing. A very evil cult, full of the righteous anger of a hormonal girl. OMG WTF SMH LOL GTFO LMAO How dare you say anything about my idol that isn’t total adoration and exhalation!!!!!
When I was in law school, I came in direct contact with said Club members. And, I can tell you with all sorts of scientific certainty–I am being totally serious here–they are worse than the Freemasons or Scientology. Because they are very public. And did I mention most of them were hormonal.
And they aren’t afraid to wield their swords of Twitter to take down anyone, who, like me, does not understand this exclusive Club.
Back to law school and meeting these Club members. I was in line one day, waiting … the irony of this is not missed on me … to initiate into Phi Alpha Delta.* I was surrounded by The Girls that I called the Sorority Sisters because they were all in sororities in undergrad. The kind that actually has initiations that are dangerous, embarrassing, or potentially illegal.
All of a sudden, my ear drums exploded.
I heard their war cry, a.k.a. the hormonal scream of righteous fury. Apparently, Ms. Swift released an album or a single or went grocery shopping or perhaps said something to someone. Then, once one of them screamed, lots of them screamed. Followed by much jumping up and down, and pointing at their cell phone screens. Let’s just say that it was a very long and very loud wait in this line.
But before I die on my own sword, I want to say one thing.
#HappyBirthdayTaylorSwift!!!!!
(Also, WTF.)
* Unlike undergrad, you just stand up and get a certificate that says you paid your membership dues. So, just as boring as being a lawyer. Touché.
