I have a twenty-something couple** as my next door neighbors, and they own two pitbulls.*** One of these pitbulls was a rescue, and he’s nice. The other pitbull was raised as a puppy, and he’s not nice. That is because my neighbors are bone-headed.
They believe that this dog, I shall name him B (any relation to his actual name is purely coincidental), is a very large, very aggressive pitbull. If B was a human, he’d be a retired Navy Seal admiral telling you to make your bed each morning
. Like, sh*t, I better make my bed otherwise this Navy Seal dude is gonna kick my ass. Except this one is on steroids, and he’s roughly the size of Montana.
Now, I love my neighbors. They very profusely declare how much they love their “boys” on Instagram, despite how many times per day I hear “STFU, B” or “I hate you, B” or “I wish you were dead, B.”
They love B so much that they regularly allow B to be off his leash, despite (a) he is the size of Montana; (b) he’s a retired Navy seal on steroids; © he pretty much eats all kittens and anything smaller than Montana that happens to be in his way; and (d) he will charge you like a bull seeing a matador’s red cape because of a, b, and c.
They also see nothing wrong with this, by the way.
So the other day, this neighbor and another neighbor who owns H had a screaming match, in which the police were called. Each tried to blame the other. Neighbors who own B said that neighbors who own H threatened to kill B. Neighbors who own H said that B is regularly off his leash and charges at H, being super aggressive. Neighbors who own B fire back and said that B is just playful. “WTF, man, can’t you tell that B just wants to play, even if he’s a full grown male aggressive pitbull charging you like a bull seeing a matador’s red cape???”
As for Joe, he barked a few times when B was charging H, then did something way more important.
Here is the moral of this story: Joe says to take more naps. I concur.
** I like said couple, despite that they are bone-headed.
*** I also like pitbulls, despite that my neighbors are bone-headed. I do not, however, like B, as Joe has had his share of run-ins with B.