One of the more funnier things that I do to screw with Joe is to make Alexa bark or meow. Joe goes wild. So, in a very unlike-fashion for me, I am actually going to show you how to make Alexa bark like a guard dog so you too can make your dog crazy.
Can Alexa Bark Like A Dog?
The DAD and I like to come up with ways to use Alexa. This is in a blatant attempt to justify my Amazon purchase because the Echo is practically useless.* I don’t even know the Google device name because it is probably equally as useless. And, if you are like me and mildly paranoid about big brother, then you don’t want anyone listening to you. Hence, the reason I deleted the Facebook app from my phone.
We have, like, the first generation or so because the DAD is old. It looks a little like the 3rd generation:
Except ours is in black, because black is beautiful. (Joe, however, doesn’t discriminate between black and white. He’s both.)
You can also get the regular Echo, which is cooler and just as useless:
So here is Joe just chilin’ in his bed. He loves his bed. And he has the creepy-eyes. (He’s on the constant look-out for food …)
Then comes the MOM (me) … to bother him …
The MOM: “Alexa, bark like a dog.”
Alexa: “bark … bark … bark …”
Joe: WTF OMG!!!!!!!!! Who the DOG IS IN MY HOUSE!
Joe gives more creepy eyes with eyeballs in two different directions. How in the world did he get his eyeball to go that far? This is also the look he gives if someone is opening the pantry door.
By the way, you can make Alexa bark like a guard dog in two different ways. I got Alexa to bark like a big, bad guard dog by saying:
“Alexa, tell Guard Dog to Speak”
You can also get the guard dog to bark by saying “Alexa, bark like a dog” and now Alexa asks you what type of dog you want to bark (after barking like a dog). Just respond “guard dog” and she’ll start barking like a guard dog. The Basenji dog managed to piss off the cat, too.
I tried out a bunch of different breeds of dogs, like Dalmatian. She then thanks you for visiting her kennel. Note that this app has changed from previous versions, and like most things that Amazon does, updated doesn’t always mean better.
You can also do funny variations, like “Alexa, bark like a big dog” or “”Alexa, bark like a little dog.” For the cat lovers among us, Alexa will also meow like a cat.
You can use the guard dog feature to scare away bad robber-intruder-people, although since even robber-intruder-people can use the internet, I’m sure they know that Alexa can bark. I’m not sure how useful that feature is to guard your house.
Joe is all pissed off because I told Alexa to bark like a dog, then I specified Boston Terrier. Boston Terriers apparently do bark. Joe does not bark all that much. They must have strung together a lot of sound files to make a Boston Terrier barking sound. Or, I may just have a defective dog.
(Joe says … all the other dogs are defective. He is pawfect.)
Final Thoughts on How To Get Alexa To Bark Like A Dog (To Screw With Your Dog)
Let me know in the comments if you find any other ways to drive you doggy crazy, like buying a robot vacuum to scurry around the kitchen floor!
* Feel free to add a comment if you find something useful for Alexa to do. I like the shopping list. And making Joe crazy with Alexa’s barking like a dog and meowing like a cat.